Saying "Yes" at the Royal Highland Show Danny Wallace was on the Jonathan Ross show on Friday plugging his new book and the "Yes Man" movie with Jim Carey. It got me thinking that I should try his "Say Yes" philosophy from "Yes Man" again after having a trial run after I read the book.

So next day, I went with my lovely Wife to the Royal Highland Show near Edinburgh.
First thing as we walk in, she says "Do you want to go see what's in those shops"
I think 'Not likely'
Then I remember that I'm going to say yes more and decide to say yes all day to everything.

So, things I did that my first instinct was to say no to were:

* Went rounds loads of interesting craft shops/stalls (honest!)

* Spent ages watching equally bored horses in a blacksmith competition

* Ate a tonne and a half of free samples in the massive food hall
"Would you like to try our cheese/curry sauce/olive oil/pizza/whisky/liquer/bread sir?"
"Yes" *burp*

* Tried to volunteer to take part in the "Quack Commandos" display - couldn't get past people to get into the showground though but usually I wouldn't even think about it.

* Spent ages waiting in a queue to go on a cool Royal Marines speedboat simulator

* Spoke to a guy and his dog about "Hearing Dogs for the Deaf" and gave them my address for sending more details about their charity.

* Spent over £7 on a pick and mix as my Wife kept on asking
"Do you want some of these?" - yes
"Shall we try some of these?" - yes
"What about that one?" -yes
"I don't want anymore, do you?" - yes
"Surely you don't want anymore?" -yes
"Will you manage to eat all these Sweets?" -yes
"You don't normally have a sweet tooth, are you feeling ok?"- yes
"Do you not think we have enough now?" - YES!

* Ate a newly smoked Arbroath Smokie and it was tremendous!
Wife - "Ugh, Fish. I bet you're going to go an buy one now eh?"

The only thing I said no to all day was when a woman in the Volvo stand asked if I wanted a brochure - it was totally instinctive but I felt a bit bad.

I was sort of worried that I would end up buying a tractor, a cow or a shotgun (or all three!) but luckily that never happened. My wee experiment made a good day out even better and showed me how much I say "no" to things - I had to conciously fight my natural instincts.

Also, I noticed how many rhetorical questions my Wife asks me -
"You don't want to go over there again do you?" - yes
"But we've just been there! Do you really want to go there??" - yes


Other news since my last post, Gran is back to peak fitness, Rats have been verminated and I've been to the Dominican Republic and back - first time I've been in a true third world country (parts of Fife excepted) and a bit strange.  ¶ 8:21 PM 0 comments

  Train again... My wee Granny is in the hospital with a chest infection but seems to be on the mend.
We were worried it was something worse but it looks like she is ok however at 86 you have to take everything seriously. Well, we do, she just seems to get on with it.
She's tougher than my brother and I put together.

So I'm on the train again but this time connecting my laptop via my phone. We're travelling over the Forth Bridge and I remember going to Edinburgh for a day trip when I was about 11 or so.

The train had a pay-phone in it and I took great delight in phoning my Gran from the train to tell her that I was actually going across the Forth Bridge while talking on the phone! *gasp*

Changed days indeed :-)

Wonder what will be available in 20 years or so? I'm thinking tech implants and "augmented" reality. Google/facebook on a chip under your skin in a cashless, numbered, tagged society.

Very handy for the powers that be to keep track of all of us sheeple.

Still, there'll always be something to mess it up - just about lost this post because of going through a tunnel!! thank goodness for copy and paste :-))  ¶ 9:14 PM 1 comments

  Rat-a-tat-tat : vermin everywhere Had my mate Shuggie staying last weekend and so after a loooooooooooooooong night's drinking he gets up in the morning for a drink of juice.

Gazing out the kitchen window into the jumble of grass, bushes and shed that I laughingly call a garden he spots a squirrel.

Or so he thought.

It was a fucking mahooosive rat that sauntered under the fence when it realised it was spotted.

So, I tell the neighbour and who doesn't believe me until they speak to other neighbours who confim that "yes" they had also seen a rat and "yes" it was huge.

Having a few beers in the pub last night and the neighbour calls my mobile absolutely terrified - she'd put Rat Poison down in her garden and two rats were tucking in big style in a huge and disgusting manner. Her wee 6 year old daughter was providing a running commentary in the background and the poor wee mite thought her Mum had been eaten by rats when she popped out to put out the rubbish and got talking to Kathryn.

Now, I've not seen them yet but I'm going to get tooled up for when I do. Traps, Poison and a catapult/air pistol are going to get purchased.

Gonna shoot me some varmits and get some hired guns also.

Oh and we've got mice in the office at work as well!
A wee cowerin timorous beastie, wi a panic in it's breestie ran around the floor of the office the other day just as I was leaving.

"What should we do?" enquired Martin
"Phone the helpdesk?" was my less than helpful suggestion before making a sharp exit for my train.

Supposedly the fact that we've seen them means they are ripped out their tits on poison but let's see.

Oh and our office is directly above a supermarket with it's own bakery......
nobody is getting anything from there anymore...  ¶ 10:52 AM 0 comments

  Now Showing - Live! Added yet a cool piece of software to my phone, it's called Flixwagon and it allows you to broadcast live video from your phone directly to t' internet.

There's others like qik (feature packed but very slow to transmit) and bambuser (not tried it yet)

Since I have big fat data package with t-mobile I don't have to worry about data charges but only battery life and the fact that, generally, there is nothing I do worth broadcasting live.

However, East Fife won a league title for the first time in 60 years and so I toddled along the match to film it and broadcast it on the web for any exiles that couldn't make it.

So thanks to my bro posting the link on the East Fife messageboard - it actually worked! some folks in Canada and Australia managed to share in the atmosphere as it happened. pretty fucking amazing if you ask me.

So you can see the videos here , the quality is pish but it's still a quantum leap forward - am looking to see fans eye views of lots of games over the next couple of years.

Funny thing is, the sites are full of people just taking random vidoes and laughing when they can see it directly on the browser in front of them.  ¶ 10:39 AM 1 comments

  modern technology - superb on the train to london for a wee break and taking advantage of the free wi-fi.

Our antipidean Friends are making merry by skyeping back home for cheapness.

Some things never change though as we've ran out of booze by Durham - Doh!  ¶ 12:03 PM 1 comments

  10 things before 30 Winter is coming in fast and it's only a couple of months before I bid a fond farewell to the sunny uplands of my twenties and say a big hello to godawful dinner parties, vanishing hair, ballooning belly and the suburban ennui of my thirties.

So, I'm thinking I should do a cut down 8 week version of X things to do before I'm thirty.
Given the timescale I'll settle for about 10 things.

So, I have some things that I'm going to do BUT....if anyone actually reads this - please chip in with suggestions. Nominations close by the end of the week.

So far in no particular order suggestions include..

* Climb a big huge high wall in the Ratho climbing centre
* Create an excellent website
* Create an cool mobile site/app
* Volunteer for for a charity
* Climb Largo Law and take stock of my life
* Pick somewhere at random and go for a daytrip/the weekend
* Start mediation classes
* Swim at least 3 miles
* Run 5k in 25 minutes
* Play a nice piece of music really well on the piano or guitar - I'm sadly out of practice (and talent!)
* Say yes to everything for one random day or random spread of 3/5 days - like the Yes man book  ¶ 7:28 PM 3 comments

  Good day at work and a lunchtime safari Much better workwise today - was good to power through some sticky stuff that's been hanging around. In the grand scheme of things it means nothing I guess but I do love it when a plan come together.

The maddest thing that happened today was at lunch, I got tapped for cash by a guy in a sandwich shop. aggressive begging like this is pretty much unheard of in Edinburgh so I was totally confused.

I was just checking that I had enough cash for my food when I hear "Hey man, hiv you goat 40p so's ah kin phone ma mum tae get picked up"

Turned around and there's this badly burned guy looking at me, I was like "What the fu....."but since I had a ton of shrapnel in my paw it was easier to pick out a 20p and give it to him than pretend I had no change.

So he turns away and then turns back, "Bit a need 40p man!"

"Baws" says I, "the phone's only 20p"

at this point the shop owner interupts and starts trying to move the guy out the shop
- rapidly going red and snarling through gritted teeth - "I don't care what you do outside, but don't disturb customers in my shop".

Then the beggar starts complaining that the guy called him a beggar (Irony!) and starts goading the shopkeeper to punch him.

Now, shop owner is beetroot, motionless and about to explode.
Beggar is saying "Cum oan hard man, punch me then. ah canny punch back cos mah airms are f******"
and I'm telling the frankly terrified girl behind the counter that "yes please, I would like some salad."


Finally, the standoff ends with a flourish and no blood spilt.


Beggar points a bony finger at the sandwich man - "You're a bad man you, I believe in Karma man, what goes around comes around" and shambles off.

And a nasty wee bit of me thought "what did you do in a previous life to end up like that then???"

Anyway, my first draft of this was pretty nasty so I've took some of that out as I try to give people the benefit of the doubt (i.e. I'm a sap).

However, professional victims really piss me off - that beggar will be going away thinking that I'm a bawbag for only giving him 20p when I had a muckle paw of shrapnel and that the sandwich man is a wanker for throwing him out his shop when he was *only* trying to ask a guy for money.

Takes all sorts I guess  ¶ 10:44 PM 0 comments

  Eeesh What a day at work - morning stuffed by databases pointed elsewhere and afternoon and evening stuffed by gremlins in machines.

Sometimes it's like trying to do a rubix cube in your head - would be nice to work with real machines that you could bash with a spanner.

Computers can be a pain the the @rse a lot of the time.

I wonder how much of this stockmarket volatility is caused by misconfigured automated systems following the electronic herd. Mind you, human error is probably just as dangerous.

the £128,000,000 typing error...  ¶ 9:38 PM 0 comments