Protesting - alone in a crowd Mark Thomas used to have a very funny show that highlighted the underbelly of the establishment. I especially loved an episode where he hired a hot-air balloon to fly over a top -secret US Spy base in the UK that "doesn't exist". He found out the airspace wasn't restricted and the security people were raging that there was nothing they could do about it.

Anyway, he's popped up with a funny idea for a protest over the ridiculous laws against free speech within 1km of the houses of parliament.

Basically, mass protests are not allowed but protests involving a single person cannot be turned down as long as you fill in a form 6 days in advance.

So, to highlight the stupidy of the law, there will be a few hundred people each protesting for individual protests.
http://politics.guardian.co.uk/apathy/story/0,,1857016,00.html  ¶ 9:39 PM 2 comments

  Fringe So the Festival is nearly finished and this year I managed to actually see more than usual.

"The Two Sopranos": ****
Fantastic lunchtime concert held in St Mary's Cathederal, I'm not an "opera" person at all but this was excellent. It's amazing how a powerful pair of voices can fill such a huge area.
They lose a star though because when buying a CD afterwards the manager type woman was pretty rude.

"That Canadian Guy": ****
Nice show, Nice guy. He looked and spoke a bit like Cliff from Cheers and it was an hour of pretty gentle but good comedy. Best bits were his observations on Edinburgh during the festival and his mickey-taking of Americans but he loses marks for pinching Bill Hicks old joke about knowing Saddam had WMD because the US had checked the receipt.

"Ed Byrne": ****
Slick and funny. Professional and polished. Not much more to add to be honest. It was a good show but, since he is a "big name" it didn't have that latent sense of desperation that most of the other comedians' have. Had the future mother-in-law in kinks even when talking about what a scottish presbyterian porn flick would be like.

"Pete Cain": ***1/2
Starts off dark and a bit slow paced but it is good for the second half.
His show (well the first half anyway) is about ways to make the world better. His solution is basically kill everyone but.... he seems too nice a guy to make this particular material compelling.
The second half is more about how he stood up to petty authority in various ways and is really good.

Things I wanted to see but didn't?
I wanted to see "Black Watch" but it was sold out.
As were Paul Merton and his improv chums.
I also wanted to see a stage version of Top Gun but that was banned on grounds of taste by my beloved.

Finally, I tried to get tickets for the Clerks II premiere but was too slow initially and outbid on ebay all the time - over £60 for a ticket to a talk with Kevin Smith?  ¶ 9:22 AM 0 comments

  Trains Train Trains.... Again Again Again I usually moan about Trains but today was an exception.
Train cancelled/re-routed/buggered about and the scotrail staff
A) Knew what was going on
B) Kept the passengers informed

This is revolutionary.

The last time they had a muck-up, half the passengers weren't told to get off the train and had a 45 minute journey back in the direction they'd come from.

However, to end on a grumble, the hideous pink and yellow colour scheme on the new trains makes you feel like you are travelling in Mr Blobby's colon.  ¶ 9:16 AM 0 comments

  Supermarket weep (Slight Return) I went to Tesco.

I tried to take a trolley's worth of stuff through the self service thingy.

I broke the machine.

There was a huge queue

I staged a tactical retreat to a checkout with an actual human working it.

In light of the post below, loads of humble pie being chomped on as we speak.  ¶ 2:47 PM 4 comments

  Supermarket weep I left it a bit late to discover that the house was needing bread and toothpaste.
The only option available was 24hr hypermarket hell at Asda, usually avoided like the plague but...

Anyway, the trip starts well when I park near an entrance but then realise that that particular door is shut off.

So, it's round to the other entrance to traipsing the football pitch length to the furthest away end of the store (or meccanno warehouse) to get bread (and beer, it was a long walk).
In an ironic twist, the background "muzak" is "500 miles" by the Proclaimers.

So after picking up my items on my hike I go to the checkout. This is always a problem at Asda as they only ever have about 3 of the 500 checkouts open.
Instead, I go to the "self service" bit thinking, "hey, there's only two customers in front of me how long can it be?"

7 fucking minutes is how fucking long it can be.

One couple were putting a whole fucking trolley worth of stuff through!
And boy, were they enjoying this new toy! They had the bovine grins of someone getting a high score on a playstation.
*Beep*
*Grin*
*BEEEP BEEEP BEEEP* - Asda guy runs over, waves a piece of paper under the scanner(putting new credit in??) and they're off again.
*Beep*
*Grin*

The other folk had bought 16 (Sixteen) bottles of shampoo and crashed the fucking machine.

Now, I'm impatient enough as it is, but i was even worse because (as the droning announcement told me every thirty seconds) they stop selling booze at 10. I was REALLY looking forward to my proposed beer and had started queuing at 9:53 so the clock was ticking....

Eventually the bovine couple ran out of credits and stopped playing with the self-service machine and I managed to swipe my beer through before the deadline.

Final pain in the ass?

The machine had ran out of money (did the bovine couple win it all??) so the Asda guy had to go elsewhere in the hangar to get my change.

The machine had obviously had enough so the Asda guy put it out of it's misery for the night.



Moral (if any) of the rant?
Don't go to Asda at any time for a few items and if using the self-service machine, gauge if the people in front look like they know what they are doing.  ¶ 11:13 PM 0 comments

  BMX Bandits use Bronze age headstone for stunts Was searching the web for local history stuff and found this link to an investigation time team did in Leven.
http://www.channel4.com/history/timeteam/2003_leven_t.html


I remember talking about it to JD a few years ago and he said, as kids, we all used to take our bikes down to do jumps off the headstones (obviously we, or anyone else had no idea what they were).

Imagine that, 4000 years of Resting in Peace and then you have snotty nosed brats doing wheelies off your tombstone until you get dug up by Baldrick.


Pictures are from:
http://www.arcl.ed.ac.uk/streaming/fife/
&
http://ourpasthistory.com/TTF/album50  ¶ 11:41 PM 0 comments

  Then and Now

I got an excellent book on the history of my home-town from ebay. An impulse buy but not nearly as bad as some previous ebay purchases (a bronze roman ring?).

Anyway, apart from bringing it home to me (so to speak) just how many nice buildings were pulled down to make way for carbuncles, the main point that struck me was... where have all the "local" businesses went?

I don't mean self-employed Plumbers, Joiners, Shops etc as they are really part of the service industry working for ordinary punters but I mean the businesses run by their owners.

e.g back in the 1900-20's, in a town of 9,000 there were
* 2 soft drinks makers
* 7 Bus companies
* An Iron works/Foundry
* A Spinning Mill
* A Ropeworks
* A Paper Mill
* A Saw Mill
*Various Tourist-type businesses

n.b. This is just a sample and doesn't include "bigger" employers like Mining, Fishing and Shipping.

Now? It's pretty much a town without a purpose.
The Foundry does well as part of a US Company but doesn't employ a lot of people
The Sawmill is still there and still independent
Tourists go to Spain.
The only other major employers are a Diageo bottling plant and a paintmakers (part of a US company as well).

Everything else has gone.

So are people who talk about the disappearance of the "local" high street and village shops just commenting on the final death rattle of a long process that started ages ago?

  ¶ 10:44 PM 0 comments

  Long Time No Post Wow, that's a long time without posting, I've just had too much on with the wedding (5 weeks to go!) and work taking up most of my time.

Anyway, I saw this comment on the "Have Your Say" section of the BBC website and just loved the irony....

http://newsforums.bbc.co.uk/nol/thread.jspa?threadID=2971&&&edition=1&ttl=20060808150018
Are you thinking of emigrating from the UK? Or are you already living overseas? What has been the main reason behind your decision to move abroad? Send us your comments and experiences.

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Added: Tuesday, 8 August, 2006, 10:31 GMT 11:31 UK
Up until recently, I would never have considered leaving my home country, but with the immigration status the way it is, I am seriously thinking about leaving. I read that council tax is likely to increase to fund immigrant housing and education. This, in my opinion, is unbelievable.
Aaron, Nottingham, UK
Recommended by 3 people
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Yeah, become an immigrant elsewhere because you don't like immigrants.
I hope you don't want housing and education in your new country.
Classic.  ¶ 3:09 PM 0 comments